Get rid of bad friends
Find out more about cookies and your privacy in our policy. Try writing your thoughts down to help make things clearer. Do you think your friend is intentionally trying to hurt you or put you down? You might spend a lot of time flipping through your memories of them, scrolling through their social media, or asking other friends and family about them. Read more about learning to accept things that are out of your control. It might look like this:.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 10 Signs You Have a Toxic Friend
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 3 CLEAR Signs It's Time to Cut Someone Out of Your LifeContent:
- 15 Types of Friends You Should Get Rid Of Immediately
- 5 Reasons You Need to Get Rid of All Your Negative Friends
- When To Fire A Friend
- 6 Ways To Cut A Toxic Friend Out Of Your Life For Good
- How to Get Rid of a Toxic Friend: Make Them Walk Away for Good
- 7 questions to ask yourself to decide whether or not you need to break up with a close friend
- Dealing with a toxic friendship
15 Types of Friends You Should Get Rid Of Immediately
Despite what the Spice Girls would have us believe, it's not true that friendship never ends. Research actually confirms what we've all experienced: Most middle school friendships don't even last a year. And while some adult friendships last throughout life, some make us feel like we've been sentenced for life. So how do you know when to make a break for freedom?
Sometimes it's obvious: A so-called friend steals your money or your partner, or in the case of Taylor Swift , your back-up dancers.
Now we've got bad blood, indeed. But sometimes it's not obvious: Do you tough it out with a friend struggling with addiction? Can you stay friends with someone whose values undergo a radical change? Do you leave behind a boring friend or remind yourself true friendship isn't about entertainment?
And of course, what to do when a friendship starts off strong and just fizzles? Nothing happened, but there's just nothing there anymore. Is it OK to let go? Fundamentally, you don't need a checklist of legit and non-legit reasons to end a friendship.
Go with your gut and your heart. That said, here are seven questions to ask yourself to make those fuzzy situations a little bit clearer:. Some people are friends with you because of what you can do for them. Red flags include friends who repeatedly try to sell you something, ask to borrow money again and again, or keep tabs on favors.
The transaction might also be more subtle — you're friends with them because they admire you with cartoon hearts in their eyes and in return you get a shot to your self-esteem. You're friends because they hold you back just enough that you can blame them, rather than yourself, for not accomplishing your dreams.
In sum, if you leave every interaction with an urge to wash your hands, look closer and see if you might using them or being used yourself.
In the end, you want friends, not an entourage. Turns out healthy or unhealthy habits can circulate within a smaller friend group, too. For instance, unhealthy psychological habits like a tendency to put each other down or to complain constantly can spread from friend to friend.
Or unhealthy body image or disordered eating habits might be a culture in your circle. More seriously, if you're battling a substance abuse problem normalized by a friend group "If we all drink until we black out, doesn't that make it normal?
Indeed, showing up at the same bar with the same people will inevitably lead to the same behavior. Ideally, friends work together to eat better, team up to exercise, or weather the horrors of stopping smoking together. But if your friend pulls you down, pressures you to drink or smoke after you've made it clear you're trying to change, or otherwise ridicules your attempts to take care of yourself, it may be time to distance yourself.
Manipulation, fundamentally, is managing the emotions of others , and not in a good way. It's sulking to get someone to feel bad, it's being especially nice to butter someone up. It's really hard to put your finger on whether or not it's happening, because being the target of manipulation is like being the proverbial frog in the slowly boiling water — it's only after you're out that you realize the full extent of what was happening. But there are clues: Your friendship may feel unnecessarily intricate.
You're at a loss for words when others ask you about the friendship. Another clue: Without quite realizing it, you've changed for the worse as a result of this friendship less happy, less secure, less confident but somehow you're the one always doing the apologizing. Or you may just feel like something is always off. You even ask your friend "what's wrong?
Any of these clues may be signs of emotional manipulation. Sometimes we force a friendship when we have a similar background and similar lives. Similarity somehow makes us think we should be friends. But it doesn't matter if you went to the same elementary school or look like spitting images of each other. What's really important? Well, a study assessed over 1, people; some of them had friendships with people of a different race, sexual orientation, or gender, and some of them did not.
Those with cross-category friendships placed less value on having similar lives, values, and experiences as their friends. What did they focus on instead? The true building blocks of friendship: trust, honesty, respect, and being there for each other.
Do any of these sound familiar? You justify selfish and inconsiderate behavior: "I'm sure he meant to clean up this mess he left when he borrowed my car, he was probably just busy. Um, sure, we can reschedule. Sure, let's talk about all the ways you rock.
If you're doing all the work in the relationship, you're an employee, not a friend. Time to consider going on strike. This one may sound cliche, but it's important. Friends shouldn't be like your iPod earphones — never around when you need them but getting tangled up in things when you're not. The research on friendship is rife with words like "reciprocal," "mutual," and "shared," and if none of those come to mind when you think about a particular friendship, it might be time to back away.
Indeed, all those graduation night songs about "I'll be on your side forevermore" and "I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on," while cheesy, are about more than swaying with arms around each other's shoulders.
Good friendships represent an equilibrium of mutual support. Even dissimilarities between good friends manage to balance each other out. Of course, over time the balance will shift back and forth — you will inevitably have a major life crisis at the same time your friend gets a promotion, but good friends are there to share in your successes and your struggles.
You don't have to link arms and sing, but you should feel sure than in your friendship, winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call. Let's end with the big one. You're not the same everywhere you go — you behave differently at a job interview or visiting grandma than when hanging out with your friends, but if you feel pulled to change or hide who you are, or you feel ashamed after hanging out with your friend, it may be time to try on other friendships. To wrap up, decades of research and millennia of common sense tell us that connecting with true friends is one of the best things we can do for our health and happiness.
Breaking up with less-than-true friends is a tough decision. Indeed, there must have been a time when you were good friends to each other, or you wouldn't be in struggling with the question to begin with. Now, friends will come and go from your life. Some will be context-dependent, like a work friend or a school friend.
These are all fine. Not every friend needs to be a Golden Girls-style pal and confidante. But real friends shouldn't hurt, manipulate, or use you, or pressure you to be someone you're not. A true friend inspires you to be better, happier, healthier, and more "yourself. Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders. It often indicates a user profile. Login Subscribe Subscribe. World globe An icon of the world globe, indicating different international options.
Ellen Hendriksen , Quick and Dirty Tips. Ending a friendship is a challenging decision, and one where the reasons aren't always clear-cut. Even if you've been friends with someone for a long time, people can grow apart or no longer put equal effort and care into the relationship.
If you can't count on them, or feel like you're doing all the work to maintain the friendship, it's okay to go with your gut and cut it off. Friendship should make you a better version of yourself — not bring you down.
Visit Business Insider's homepage for more stories. Does it feel genuine, or like a transaction? Are you holding each other back from getting healthy? Are you being manipulated? Are you friends simply because they're similar to you? Do you do all the work in the relationship? Can you count on each other? Can you be yourself? Relationships Features Contributor contributor Relationship advice.
5 Reasons You Need to Get Rid of All Your Negative Friends
Moving to Los Angeles six years ago I was in a new city making new friends. Negative and toxic relationships can wear off on you and like it or not, their energy will flow over into your own life. I now only surround myself with happy, positive, loving and supportive people and I feel happier because of those who I keep around me. So if you need to get rid of some toxic people in your life, keep reading. For some reason, there just are mean people in this world and some of them are even the closet people to you.
As geeks, we tend to make friends with people that share our interests. I make friends and bond with them over fighting games, Magic:TheGathering and comic books. Usually, I end up getting very close to these people. So all of the friends I made over Tekken also became my hanging out buddies, and eventually my party group too. The great thing about that is when our interests diverge for instance, some of the guys no longer play Tekken , we still remain friends, just because I like them as people.
When To Fire A Friend
Negativity will spoil the relationship between friends in such a way that they will not want to be around, talk to, or even engage with one another. Negative friends can rob you of happiness , peace of mind , and the ability to progress towards your greatest potential. Negativity amongst friends does NOT strengthen the friendship. On the contrary, it has the greatest potential to do more harm than good! We also have a collection of wise fake friends quotes and backstabbing quotes to help show you how to see people for who they are underneath the surface. Be sure to read that as well. Have you ever thought negatively when you were around your negative friends? Have you ever tried to avoid conversations with them because they were too pessimistic?
6 Ways To Cut A Toxic Friend Out Of Your Life For Good
Human beings are social beings who need compassion, love, care and respect from the people around them. As a social being people make friends with people with whom they share the same ideas and who are in a common field as they are. They could be work mates, students or even people who live in the same neighborhood. The people who you interact with are supposed to have some characteristics which you. Their behavior is very important to determine the kind of relationship both of you would bond to form.
I strongly suggest you read it immediately after reading this post. Over the last year and a half, I have felt consistently happy. This is the longest stretch of happiness I have encountered since I was a child. Over the same amount of time, I have cut a multitude of people out of my life that dragged me down in one way or another: energy-zappers, promoters of bad habits, judgmental janes, etc.
How to Get Rid of a Toxic Friend: Make Them Walk Away for Good
So the undeniable question we are all asking is: How do I get rid of a toxic friend? Maybe your attachment to them is even making you deny how much their presence affects you. It can help to know the signs of a toxic friendship so you can be sure that the relationship is no good. Occasional constructive criticism from a friend can be helpful, but frequent, harsh criticism is not beneficial in any way.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Joe Rogan speaks about selfish/stupid friends.
Toxic friendships are the worst. If you look for ways for how to get rid of a toxic friend, first of all, let me say my heart goes out to you. Toxic people are like toxic substances. They poison everything around them. They are to everyone else too.
7 questions to ask yourself to decide whether or not you need to break up with a close friend
Despite what the Spice Girls would have us believe, it's not true that friendship never ends. Research actually confirms what we've all experienced: Most middle school friendships don't even last a year. And while some adult friendships last throughout life, some make us feel like we've been sentenced for life. So how do you know when to make a break for freedom? Sometimes it's obvious: A so-called friend steals your money or your partner, or in the case of Taylor Swift , your back-up dancers. Now we've got bad blood, indeed. But sometimes it's not obvious: Do you tough it out with a friend struggling with addiction?
People treat friendships differently from romantic relationships, and it always seems absurd to me that we hold our domestic partners to wholly different standards than we hold our friends. For instance, sometimes people will put up with longstanding emotional abuse from friends in a way they never would from their romantic partners. Friendships, like any other kind of relationship, can end.
Dealing with a toxic friendship
Passionate love that can turn toxic and sour or even just Friendships are also complex dances that can end in tears and breakups. If some of your connections just don't feel right anymore, you might be wondering how to know when to end a friendship.
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